Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Okay so this is a blog.

Why am I writing this? Because fuck you, I wanted to write it.

You know, I always feel a little uncomfortable casually writing "fuck you" like that...the more you use strong language in casual speech, the less powerful it becomes, and when I write a cheap gag like that it feels like I'm desensitizing myself and anyone reading it, and then when I'm really mad and I need to cuss, what am I supposed to do? So I try to avoid the biggest expletives. The problem is, sometimes, especially when you want to be concise, it's just hard to effectively convey that same emotion with a bowdlerized alternative like "screw you". Imagine I wrote "Because screw you, I wanted to write it." It just doesn't sound right, does it? Sometimes you can get creative with things like "Holy flying garbage pails", but then you end up sounding like you're auditioning for Cheesy Batman Sidekick. Or you can think of something that sounds obscene without being explicit, like "Stick your head in a blender, donkey vomit." But that doesn't work because first, it's ridiculous and usually stupid, and second, I didn't think of it. Well, I thought of it now, but it's too late, I'm already explaining this whole thing.

Anyway, the point is, I'm writing this because I don't do enough writing. I like writing. And if you want to be good at something, you need to do it a lot. Like, I skimmed the Malcolm Gladwell book, but really it's just common knowledge. You have to practice to be good at something. Practice makes perfect, whatever.

Like, last quarter I took a writing class, right? And every lesson we had writing practice, where we had a prompt and we wrote something for it. Like not even a free write, just a creative exercise like "Write a short story that uses no punctuation" or "Write a short story that uses no adjectives." Well anyway, that was all fiction, but that's not important. I mean, I could write fiction if I wanted. I'll write whatever I like, fuck you. There, see, I did it again...it was weaker this time, wasn't it? I mean, it was a comma splice (unless you're the Asian gal from the Austin Powers movie with the cheap pun name, in which case you can pretend I was talking to you, assuming you're using a text-to-speech program to read this and you didn't see how I spelled it) which could weaken it, but anyway.

Okay, so I have a blog already, that being the one over here, but I pretty much only use it to write about RuneScape, right? And that's what the people reading it are expecting me to write. This is mostly in my head because as far as I know there are only, like, one or two or three people who actually follow it faithfully, I dunno, I mean I'm not really that great and I'm definitely not famous or anything so it's not like I have a loyal fanbase...but it's on a RuneScape website and it has "RuneScape" right at the top and all the posts are about RuneScape and the fact of the matter is, I don't really have all that much to say about RuneScape these days. I mean, maybe I have things to say, but nothing interesting. Or like, maybe it's interesting, but it's still boring, you know? It would just look like this. Like this right here. Except about...some RuneScape thing instead of whatever this is. Which isn't inherently bad except that none of my other posts look like this. Except the first one. This is my first post here too. Maybe it's only the first post that looks like this. Who knows. But most of my posts are actually, like, real-looking. Like, I could send them to a RuneScape, like, magazine, or something, and I wouldn't be embarrassed if they published them. Mostly. Like, they're actually clever. Or if not clever, then funny, at least a little bit, or maybe even informative or opinionated. Whereas this...well, this is just a brain dump, right? Pretty much. Hopefully that's obvious by this point, if you got through the third paragraph.

The real point is, I need to write more. Or I want to write more. Or whatever. I'm going to write more. And so this is a blog. I guess. It's this place where I posted this thing. And I'll post some more things. And they could be things about anything, so if I'm not playing much RuneScape right now I'll just write about something else. Whatever.

Drinking game: take a drink whenever I say "whatever", "I guess", "anyway", "so yeah", "stuff", "y'know", or the adverbial or hedging forms of "like", or start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction. Yeah, it's gonna be like this.

Y'know, people think "like" isn't a real word, like, that it's just thrown into sentences at random without any meaning. But that's really not true. It's an actual thing with actual grammatical...stuff. There's, like, research, and...see, now that I wrote the thing about the drinking game, I'm all self-conscious about saying "stuff" and "whatever". But anyway...damn...anyway, it's an actual real word. And it's actually really old. It's been in common usage for, like...drink...ages. Like centuries. You can look this stuff up. (Drink drink.)

 So yeah. Writing. Things. Whatever. I'll post again later.

3 comments:

  1. Jeez, you clearly ripped off the name of my tumblr...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Apparently. Sometimes. You can click on that link and everything!

    ReplyDelete