Haiku

Were there no winter
The snow would fall in autumn.
My mind floats adrift.

Rain

He had forgotten his umbrella.

Hunched over and shivering, he trudged through the rain


His cap was most exposed
It was first to soak through 
His jeans were next
The sky drew dark blotches on the thighs

Each step, his sneakers kicked droplets of rain into the air
Each footfall left a splash
The water wriggled through the shoes
Until he could feel in every stride
That gentle squish-squash of wet socks

It was a long mile.

He arrived at his doorstep
He unlocked the door and stepped inside
He hung up his wet hat and his wet coat
He kicked off his wet shoes
He tugged off his wet socks
He pulled off  his wet t-shirt
He stripped to his underwear
He toweled the sogginess away

In fresh, dry clothes, he curled up in a blanket
And dreamed of sunshine.

For sale
One soul
Slightly used
Still in working condition
Price negotiable

There should have been a thunderstorm
There should have been a flood
There should have been a heavy rain
To turn the ground to mud

There should have been an earthquake
Should have snowed or should have hailed
The drivers should have watched the road
The brakes should not have failed

But the planet keeps on turning
And the night turns into dawn
And the sun persists in shining
Though your shining face is gone

Sonnet the Hedgehog

A blue blur races through the Green Hill Zone
Too quickly for the naked eye to track
Collecting rings and fighting robot drones
The hedgehog with the attitude is back
And at his side, his trusty sidekick, Tails
A fox with the unlikely gift of flight
Together, they'll set out to blaze new trails
From Marble Garden to Casino Night
Spring Yard, Oil Ocean, Mystic Cave
Every level speeds by in a flash
Seven emeralds and a world to save
And one mad scientist with whom to clash
Run, jump, run, roll, jump, run to survive
Sonic: he's the fastest thing alive

The true story of how I milled the table without playing a single spell

Shuffled up Mayael the Anima
Against Niv-Mizzet, Wydwen, Kaalia
My op'ner needed one green mana source
But I refused to mulligan, of course
Niv-Mizzet's Sol Ring promised a quick start
And lo, his next play nearly stopped my heart
For on turn 4, he grinned and played Hive Mind
Sharing spells could be construed as kind
But trouble came when, with mischievous glee,
Wydwen untapped and cast Prosperity
Again, a card that might seem generous
But her gifts showed themselves as treacherous
When Niv-Mizzet tapped three more of his lands
For Windfall! Everyone tossed out their hands
(Already filled with eighteen precious spells!)
To draw that many more, as it compels
But Hive Mind's trigger had to interject
And three more times, repeated the effect
Until our libraries were very small
With hardly any cards in them at all
Our decks were down to just three measly draws
And running out would leave us with a loss
Niv-Mizzet's Howling Mine sped up this clock
Our time was ticking down -- was it a lock?
Not so! For I had one trick up my sleeve
By which a vict'ry I might yet achieve
Discarding at the end of my next turn,
I binned my Vigor and my Worldspine Wurm
Their triggers sent them back into my deck
And I was leading, though 'twas neck and neck
Three turns passed by, and three opponents down
With two cards left, I proudly took the crown!
I sat back, quietly musing, "Well, well, well --
I won the game, but never cast a spell!"

Poetry that makes a lot more sense when you understand the context, Part II

Confessions of an Unwanted L

You want her to be straight
So she can fit in
Like everyone else 
So all the lines can be clear
Everyone in their places
So everything can be perfect
In your little world
Well guess what
That's not who she is
Sorry if you're disappointed
You'll just have to deal with it

When we first saw the world
It was in primary colors
Even though it was really in black and white
Or rather
Green

When we first saw color
We were enthralled by silver and gold
But the world we knew had dilapidated
The forests burned to the ground
The mountains collapsed

Yet when we looked back with wider eyes
At the primary colors
They glittered like gemstones
Even as the world was swallowed
By earthquakes and floods

While space and time warped around us
And our vision doubled 
We were lost in the glimmering of our diamonds and pearls

Until nothing else was left
But black and white
And black
And white
Again.

I'm a little surprised at how much homework I'm getting assigned for my poetry class. She wants a four-page response to the reading for every class. Yeesh. I just finished my first one--I added in some hypothetical dialogue, including a silly little aside about a Simic Guildmage trying to use cytoplastic implants to write poetry automatically; and a cynical, snarky impression of one of the readings as a Poetry Hipster who only reads poets you've probably never heard of.

First impression: doing this for every class is going to be a pain in the neck.

On the other hand, having to write so much is certainly a challenge. It'll take some creativity to find enough content to meet the length requirement. So it's a non-trivial amount of work, but I do expect it to stretch those creative muscles.

Sorry, hang on, I just got a mental image of "creative mussels". Little clams painting pictures and writing poetry. Ahahaha.

Time for some Selesnya limericks!

A Glorious Anthem times three:
Just what token decks want to see.
It's like Overrun,
But prob'ly more fun
If you're casting it preemptively.




More Populate! Hmm, I approve
Of Selesnya's signature move.
Some creatures may die,
But there's more standing by
And enchantments are hard to remove.




What's this? I don't see tokens here!
This beatstick's vanilla, I fear.
On the other hand, that's
Quite a nice set of stats
Like a Watchwolf with really big ears.




Gain life and overextend?
I can guess how that's going to end.
I'm not blown away
This card is okay
Gives new meaning to "Make a new friend."

Avacyn Restored set review: Limerick edition

Here's part three of my AVR set review!
It's written in verse, just for you!
Click here for part one
And after you're done
You can click over here for part two

Let's start with the Herald of War
It's obvious what it is for
Cast Angels all day
(Humans? Cheap anyway)
Til the enemy's knocked to the floor.

Goldnight Redeemer can heal
With flicker effects, she's ideal
Though lifegain is bad,
There's fun to be had--
She's got Casual/Limited appeal.

An enchantment that makes all spells cheaper
I've heard people claim it's a sleeper
Five mana's a lot
So I think that it's not
But feel free to try and go deeper.

Latch Seeker's a Limited card
Not something you should disregard
It's a clock on its own
With pump spells, it pwns
You drafters should be on your guard.

This new Wheel of Fortune is nice
It can come at a discounted price
Guess some decks will love it
Not sure what to think of it
Draw seven? It's worth looking twice.

The blue-red utility land
Lets you filter the cards in your hand.
I don't need to tell you
It's excellent value,
So if you've got the colors, it's grand.

They've also revealed the red-white one
For Mayael, it's a card that I might run
But vigilance and haste
Aren't quite to my taste
And my deck's manabase is a tight one.

Rhyme is restrictive.
Next time, it's back to haiku.
Part four coming soon.

Avacyn Restored set review, continued in Sonnet form

The new planeswalker, Tibalt, double-red

Half-devil, born of brimstone and of soot

Emo hair and horns sprout from his head

For +1 loyalty, he'll let you loot

The cheapest 'walker--only needs two lands

He filters cards for incremental gains

Deals damage based on cards in people's hands

And maybe lets you grab ALL of the reins

A niche card, though; won't fit in ev'ry build

You'll want Flashback-type stuff that you can pitch

Protect him so he doesn't just get killed

And hope that things go off without a hitch

So on the whole, I guess he seems okay

But I don't think he'll see much Standard play.

Cathars' Crusade is awesome. What a bomb!

I plan to play the shit out of this card

I'll cast it in my Rhys deck and it's on.

All of my guys will hit absurdly hard.

+1/+1 dice ticking up to six

Just think of all the awesome things to do

This card enables lots of crazy tricks

Not just for Timmy; Johnny loves it too

Try it with Ghave for making lots of men

Pollenbright Wings seems pretty good with it

Sac your Kitchen Finks, sac it again

There's hella ways this card goes infinite

So pay five mana, no-one should be hatin'

And sit back as those cathars go crusadin'.

The Bonfire of the Damned is double-X

But "Miracle" might let you cast it cheaper

Late in the game, it absolutely wrecks

And early, it can still serve as a sweeper

This should be really awesome to topdeck

Imagine X is six or seven...eight!

This might be the expansion's "hot" new tech

But inconsistent--so, up for debate.

It's not as if it's crap at one or two

It answers an annoying Ling'ring Soul

But rip it off the top and it can do

X damage to each creature they control

Evaluating Miracles is tough

But Bonfire of the Damned might be enough.

If you like Tow'r Above, you'll love this one

Check out that guy who's stomping up that place

A guy gets huge and tramples everyone

It lets you do some serious bashing face

This was a reddit preview. How 'bout that.

It's nice to see them get exclusive stuff.

And this card's certainly worth looking at

For green decks, hey, it just might be enough

It's Basilisk and Lure rolled up in one

Okay, not deathtouch--still, it's pretty sick

It's classic and it seems like lots of fun

And Limited: a windmill-slam first-pick

So if you're feeling hunted, tap some green

Cast this and stomp them into smithereens.

Avacyn Restored set review--in Haiku

Set review in Haiku
Not every card has been spoiled
But eh, whatever.

New Anthem angel
Angel of Jubilation
White weenie's bad though.

Avacyn is big
Makes stuff indestructible
Awesome, though pricey.

Banishing Stroke. Cool.
Tuck effect for Commander.
Yeah, sure, I'd play it.

Ghost Flicker, Cloudshift,
And Restoration Angel
Flicker effects...meh.

Emancipation.
Bouncy angel is bouncy.
Maybe good in cube?

The Silverblade dude,
Double Strike Soulbond knight guy
Seems okay. I like him.

Tamiyo, Moon Sage
'Walkers are always awesome
No exception here.

Tandem Lookout? Hmm
A Soulbond Thieving Magpie
Sure, why not, seems fun.

A topdeck Time Walk?
It's Temporal Mastery.
Could be playable.

Wingcrafter: not bad
This might be underrated.
Anyway, it's cute.

4/3 Taskmaster
For three mana...uncommon?!
No Bonds of Faith, please!

Ashmouth Demonlord.
Undying is good. Sac, though...
Eh, who knows. Maybe.

Griselbrand is cool
He draws you a zillion cards
Just pay seven life.

Harvester of Souls.
Play in multiplayer, duh.
He will be insane.

"Punisher" returns
Killing Wave, Vexing Devil
Prolly not that great.

Thunderous Wrath, huh?
Five damage, one mana...'kay.
Could be a good card.

Craterhoof Fatty
Awesome fatty is awesome
Giant Overruns!

And Descendents' Path...
Awesome Terese Nielsen art!
I guess the card's fine.

Druids' Repos'try
Is this a card? I dunno.
I'm not a Johnny.

Howlgeist: hard to block
Six mana is a lot, though
Good in Limited

Joint Assault. It's fine.
This set's riff on Giant Growth.
They always do this.

And Nightshade Peddler.
Deathtouch is a good effect.
Well, for Limited.

Bruna likes Auras.
Play her instead of Uril.
Uril is boring.

Gisela is sick.
Huge body, awesome effects
This card is awesome.

Sigarda's cool too.
She's absurdly hard to kill.
Efficient stats too.

Angel's Tomb is meh.
A shout-out to Doctor Who?
Careful where you look...

Angel-making spear
Decent choice for the promo.
Not great, but splashy.

Basic land art rocks.
Artists have outdone themselves.
Bravo, guys. Bravo.

That's all that's been spoiled
So I'll continue later.
Set looks sweet so far.