Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Binding of Isaac = Christmas

It's a nun with boils on her face riding a wooden horsey. A bright red fetus is floating in the air behind her, there's a cube of meat orbiting around her, and she shoots laser beams from her eyes.

The Binding of Isaac, folks!

The items in the dungeon are randomly generated. You never know if you're going start belching jets of blood, turn into a cyclops, or get bitten by a radioactive spider. That's what I like so much about this game: it's like opening a Christmas present every time you enter a new room. What's the item going to be? Can I shake the box? Maybe it's a puppy! A real puppy, not just a puppy's severed head like the last one!

The only difference is that instead of presents from Santa, you get presents from Satan, and instead of the smell of gingerbread and roasting chestnuts, you get the smell of poop and rotting corpses, and instead of peace, goodwill, and love, you have to kill your insane homicidal mother before she kills you. But other than that, it's exactly the same as Christmas. And you get to play it any day of the year!

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