Thursday, April 5, 2012

Twin Sector

Twin Sector. Okay.

So right away there's a problem. Here are the audio settings.

 Catch the problem? I'll give you a hint. No volume controls. The only way to adjust the volume of the music and sound is to turn down my speakers. Or to manually putz around in the volume mixer, but I really shouldn't have to do that.

Okay, here's another problem.

White subtitles on a white background. Yeah, thanks, that's real helpful.

And here's another problem. Who is writing these subtitles, and why do they not speak English? I shouldn't be seeing garbage like "directly depends from" and "I can't remember any that".

In fact, who is writing the dialogue? All of the dialogue is terrible. We've got the prize for what just may be the worst, most ham-handed exposition I have ever seen:

All across the globe, people started to believe again because Ashley rescued a puppydog from a burning building? Seriously? Why would you say that...

Not to mention this gem:

OK?!... OK Oscar?!... I just don't know what to think right now, OK?!... Geez Oscar can't you understand that I just don't know what to think right now?!...

The voice acting is pretty bad too, so we have bad writing read by bad voice actors in a game that, need I remind you, is openly inviting comparisons with Portal.

Okay, but the mechanics. Yeah, I am not a fan of the way the telekinesis controls. You charge it up and it does a charging thing, then you release and it does this SHOOM. It feels like charging up a laser gun, not a telekinetic glove. There is no way to, like, move things around just a little. You can only do large bursts of high-speed pushing or pulling. It doesn't feel comfortable or smooth; it feels choppy and violent.

And the falling damage. What the hell. This is a huge pain in the neck.

Is it too much to ask for some Aperture Science Long Fall Boots?

Anyway, it's been about an hour and I have found a bunch of things in this game that bother me and pretty much nothing that I like. So I am going to quit here. Twin Sector gets a stern glare of disapproval from me.

Quest For Value status:
  • Alien Zombie Megadeath
  • Astro Tripper
  • Defense Grid: The Awakening
  • Explodemon
  • FlatOut
  • Future Wars
  • Greed: Black Border
  • Grotesque Tactics: Evil Heroes
  • Hack, Slash, Loot
  • Trapped Dead
  • Twin Sector
 Five down, six to go.

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